the day i wish i can go back to
a few months ago someone asked me a question that i’m sure most of us were asked before…
the question was: is there a day that i wish i can go back to and change something and why…
without any shred of thought i just blurted out…the day/hour before i was born…i wouldn’t come out…why? because the world is a sucky place…
and then the second question (or more like thrird!) came…:what is the meaning of life…
i wouldn’t have a clue! for me the question makes no sense…i mean what IS the meaning of LIFE? i see it this way…we get born and wear nappies (diapers for international readers), study half our lives and work for the rest of it, if one gets lucky, they get married have a family and maybe go through the roller coaster ride of divorce,and last but not the least…get old and wear nappies for the second time in our lives!…(again, diapers for international readers) i call it humiliation before we die… yes, it’s a vicious cycle folks!
so… please do tell me what IS the meaning of LIFE…cause i’m dying to know! not literally of course!
going back to the first question…i guess that’s how i really felt and i guess i still feel that way sometimes…especially when no one cares to listen to me at home…i just think to myslef that…wouldn’t it be easier if i wasn’t born!??! i mean i didn’t ask to be born…and i don’t think that i was meant to be alive…hell! my mum was on birth control pills and i was an “accident” (meaning that i wasn’t on the plan)…but newsflash! here i am and trying to make sense of my life…trying to find the meaning of me being here…trying to find my place in society…and most importanlty…trying to find myself…
September 11th, 2006 at 6:11 pm
right.. where do i even begin to bitch slap you? i probably know how you feel, but i don’t know if you even listen.
you have this amazing personality of being patient and too caring and giving, that sometimes i just want you to say no - to everyone. you can do it to me, so i’m hoping that one day you can do it to anyone that affects you.
you might not even know it, but you were born with a purpose - so fuckin what if the people around you does not appreciate you or not let you know how good are you?
sometimes you just got to have that inner belief in yourself first.. or love your self first before it can shine out and then people realise that you are worth loving and believing in as well.
for me, i’m so glad that you were born.
1. you have given me a reason to call someone a great friend.
2. you have given me a prescious god daughter, without which i wouldn’t have an idea of what unconditional love is.
3. you have given me a shoulder to cry on when i needed it most.
4. food when i’m hungry
5. laughter when i’m bored
6. good times at ikea
7. amazement and envious thoughts when i see the great photo’s you take.
i don’t have to list all of them, but i hope that at least after reading this that you realise how much you are worth it, even if it’s just coming from me.
life is all about feeling content in every way you can imagine - and feeling that way is a lot of work, as i keep on saying, you need to define what makes you unhappy and do something about it.
* o sige, i punas my iyak now - hikbi.. hikbi*